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KINJITE: FORBIDDEN FIST OF THE NINJA!! (Part 2)

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First, "Grandmaster""Ashida""Kim" starts with a disclaimer/warning to the viewer that what they are about to see is savage and terrifying and scary and icky and thus should not be viewed by anyone who's squeamish or weak at heart (or, presumably, mincing homos, hairdressers, vegetarians, liberals, girls, people who wear Birkenstocks to make a statement...)


As "Grandmaster""Ashida""Kim" goes on to explain, this blood-curdling kata-type thing has 27 of the most lethal poison hand techniques ever devised, and that each one alone is guaranteed to "maim, cripple, or kill an opponent."  I thought "maiming" and "crippling" were the same thing, more or less...maybe the techniques are so horrifying that one needs to double up on the adjectives to accurately convey just how brutal they are.

Next:  "Grandmaster""Ashida""Kim" squares off with a fellow ninja; that is to say I assume he's a ninja, by virtue of him being clad in what seems to be some sort of standard ninja garb, down to his wicked-cool tabi boots...as opposed to some silly, delusional wing-nut who likes to look the part when pretending to be a ninja-- and the two bow to each other in the traditional Asian gesture of mutual respect...  


 BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!!!
 
It would appear that while the squeamish and/or weak of heart would be wise to avoid so much as looking at this savage fusillade of deadly blows, the spindly and dorky are entirely well-suited. 

 

 Next, the man playing the role of "aggressor" drops into a lazy, shallow, and sloppy forward stance; I thought at first that it might be because he is one of those douchebags who buy a series of DVDs (more likely VHS tapes judging by the vintage of this clip) that purports to provide a visual training course of everything you need to know to be a blackbelt at something. But then, it occurred to me that he must be one of "Grandmaster""Ashida""Kims'" longtime pupils, and that maybe "Grandmaster""Ashida""Kim"-- the sort of fellow possessed of the impressive guile and lethal cunning vital to *any* true ninja master-- taught him to look inept on purpose so as to lull an opponent into complacency by appearing to have no credible martial skill whatsoever.  That may seem silly, but bear in mind that one of the greatest weapons a ninja has in his arsenal is deception.


"Grandmaster""Ashida""Kim" then launches into a full-speed demonstration of **KINJITE: FORBIDDEN FIST OF THE NINJA** by unleashing a rapid-fire series of what I assume are the aforementioned "poison hand" techniques, but which at the start look like "Grandmaster""Ashida""Kim" is doing his impression of how his cat behaves when trying to give him a bath.


 RRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHAAAAHHHHA!!!

Like me, you may be wondering how screaming at the top of one's lungs like a banshee that's passing a kidney stone fits within the context of Ninjutsu, a discipline which tends to emphasize stealth. Then again, a wise and diligent pupil never presumes to second-guess the master. So let us move on... 


 ACK! ACK! ACK!

"Grandmaster""Ashida""Kim" then hurls his hapless, doomed opponent to the ground and executes a series of debilitating, rapid-fire ninja-chops to the offending punching arm.  The origin of this horrifying technique has not, to my knowledge, been definitively pinned down; I myself believe that it's at least a close cousin of an infamous technique generally associated with the legendary 17th-century ninja master assassin Sensei David Byrne, head of the Hanashiteimasu Atama ("Talking Head") clan.

  


MAIMED AS IT EVER WAS! ACK!  MAIMED AS IT EVER WAS! ACK! MAIMED AS IT EVER WAS! ACK!

Assuming that you've not been inspired by the horrific display of simulated carnage and bloodshed you just witnessed to flee the room in terror and/or begin to spew copious amounts of vomit and/or completely void your bowels, the remainder on the gruesome techniques are revealed in KINJITE: FORBIDDEN FIST OF THE NINJA (PART 3)

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